Monday, August 10, 2009

we are experiencing technical difficulties...

Sorry about the excruciating wait between posts. I know that all one of my followers have been waiting with lip-biting anticipation for an update from the TeDiouS one.

Don't blame me, though. I am having serious HP hate today, with a good dose of Future Shop enmity thrown in just because. The laptop has just been in for yet another repair, and I get it home tonight, plug it in with shaking hands, anxious for my internet fix...only to discover that the thing I brought it into the shop for in the first place is still broken. For the fourth time. It didn't even make it home this time! I actually called up the shop to yell at them over the phone, I was so overwhelmed with peevishness. Generally, I prefer to do my yelling in person. Much more satisfying to be able to look the completely unconcerned shop guy in the eye while you vent your ire in his general direction, rather than screaming over the phone lines and listening to him yawn on the other end. Plus, it avoids the whole irrational fear of the telephone thing, which is always a plus in my book. (Don't even ask...I said it was irrational!) The thing is, I can't get back into the city now until Thursday and I didn't want to let a perfectly good indignant rant go to waste. Because by Thursday my justifiable anger would have fizzled out from a self-righteous rant to a mildly annoying whine, and who wants to see that happen? The shop guy at the other end remained irritatingly calm, though. Which is...well, irritating. Maybe I can work myself up to a good cry on Thursday. Get myself a free usb port or flash drive thrown in with that brand spanking new laptop I am going to demand they give me. Mmmhmm.

On the plus side, I went shopping today and, having spent little to none of my own money, came home with bags full of new clothes and shoes. Woohoo! I should have made plans to get engaged and move to England years ago! People give you lovely parting gifts. It helps to pout and complain about how expensive clothes are over there, then sigh dramatically about how tight the budget is going to be for us newlyweds, never mind having to pay for the wedding itself...

And then they take you shopping in good ol Canada! I came home tonight with a haul of jeans, tops, shoes, belts, underthings, even a lovely little nightie. And I have to say, trying on three outfits and two pairs of shoes when I got home really went a long way to soothing my HP/Future Shop hate-induced headache and/or eye twitch. To make the new-clothes-high even better ( I know, who knew that was possible, right?), I got everything in shops where I had previously only been able to press my nose to the glass, looking pathetically in at the tiny, size 0 1/2 clothes that wouldn't fit my big toe. But now - this needs a trumpet blast or something - my big ass fits into Garage jeans!

*waits for the cheering and hearty congratulations, the tears of joy*

*keeps waiting*

I think you are maybe not quite grasping the magnitude of this news. This butt right here (*points vaguely behind me*), wriggled itself into a pair of black super-skinny jeans from Garage. And they looked gooooood. So good I tried on two other styles of jeans, which also came home with me. Granted, all three are the biggest size Garage has to offer, at a mind-boggling 11 (which I think is something akin to shamu-esque proportions in the world of Garage clothing), but they fit. And so did the tops, again in the biggest size going, large. But who cares? I will wear those gigantic jeans with pride. I can shop at Garage now, and suddenly all the Weight Watchers points counting is so worth it!

Not to mention Urban Behavior. I got a couple of truly gorgeous tops from there, another store which does not carry sizes for anyone tipping the scales at average. The jeans there turned out to be a disappointment. Or my butt did. One of those. Funny, because the tops there fit perfectly, but the jeans were so ridiculously tiny in the ass department. My only conclusion is that the clothing in that store is made for top-heavy girls with no butts whatsoever. You know the ones...they look like candy apples, sort of round on top with stick legs. My boobs fit into their tops no problem, but no hope for even one butt cheek squashing itself into those jeans. I won't complain too heavily, though. Because even if everything I can wear from Urban Behavior is on the top half, their clothes make my top half look truly cool. And now I can skip on over to Garage to clothe my bottom half. Everyone wins!

So, kind of a day of highs and lows for this TeDiouS girl. More highs than lows though, really. Because I will get that free laptop. Just watch me.


  1. Perhaps I need to get remarried. Then people will buy me cool stuff. I like cool stuff that I don't have to pay for.

  2. I think maybe you have to move to the other side of the world as well...both my sisters are married and neither of them got going-away-bras from an aunt. Or most of a whole new wardrobe from our mom.

    Or it may be the fact that i waited til my mid-thirties to find a guy actually willing to say he'd like to spend the rest of his life with me (and I made sure he didn't have his fingers crossed behind his back), so it could just be everyone is so relieved someone else will have to deal with me from now on...